Since Then... Part One

So a brief catch-up is in order.

Let's skip through the last two years on fast forward. (This is a highly indulgent post, a bit like a diary post but out in the open. Skip it if you don't like that sort of thing. Dive in if you do. It's a 'clear up negatives' sort of post.)

Since I was last 'here' I have almost reached my 50th birthday (that comes later this year). I used to like the way that I looked a lot more than I currently do. I'm not sure if it was better then when I was more vain (or felt like I had more reason to be, lol) or better now that I am less vain (or feel like I have less reason to be, lol). I do know that feeling fitter and being more active recently have helped me to feel generally better about myself. I think it feels better to feel more capable rather than less.

https://images.hive.blog/DQmNnjoPSrsjuYUATRtEmp2cQ1qfVAJECVuYfBVWpfA73En/IMG_20200603_165741.jpg

I did finally manage to lose some weight through a combination of exercise and better eating (doh!) so that daily blogging on it that I tried to get going in 2018 obviously paid off (eventually). I started out at 18 stone 7 lbs (that's 259lbs to some; 117.5kg to others) and drifted up and down the scales until I got serious about it last August and shifted down to 16 stone 7lbs by March this year (that's 231lbs to some; 104.78kg to others). At one point I was even down to 16st3lbs but I dropped the ball after I let events overtake me (more of that in upcoming posts).

I lost two of my dogs to old age (two Labrador sisters, Maisie and Pidge, who made it to 13.5 and 14.5 respectively, leaving poor Hector the Whippet the lone survivor at 9. Maisie died in June 2019 and Pidge in April 2020.)

https://images.hive.blog/DQmY8svcDdpPUVVK74cxDSxjGSrgLgGdrojs1bExWi6KGsP/JPEG_20150325_131911_888386685.jpg

I also lost my beloved Dad in the early stage of the pandemic in march, just as he was making his final approach to his 80th birthday (next month). One moment he was chatting with Mum about his upcoming birthday and their plans for the year, and a few moments later he was gone.

https://images.hive.blog/DQmTwiLVntqAt5DGSkB237wFiUDvw2wm5xyhLcucc9fVcQU/Frankie+Dad-lightened.png

The deaths hit me hard, Dad most of all. Bizarrely, a lot of grief for him didn't emerge until Pidge died. It's funny how that works - I held it together (barely) for a while after Dad died, and then my other dog's death was just the final straw and I was lost. It's difficult to talk about and I do want to, just not right now.

And this week sees me leaving the job that I have loved for the last fourteen years, despite not always loving every aspect of it and despite it doing its best to finish me off at times. I have been a part of that family of colleagues for fourteen years and I never envisaged leaving, let alone in these circumstances. I got to say goodbye to my two dogs as I was there at the end for both of them. I wasn't there when Dad died suddenly and I won't be 'there' to say goodbye to friends and colleagues because we are spread out in drips and drabs supporting a variety of educational sites in the pandemic, and only a couple of us are allowed together at any one time while we have the students in our care.

That's the TL;DR anyway. I could fill post after post with 'I miss my Dad'.

But I had to say all of this out loud, as it's the context for what happens next. So the next bunch of posts are all about some of the positive, bright things that are coming up for me in the near future. Stay tuned :-)

powerfulwonders