11/13/18 - This is a work in progress. You will get to see the draft and edits made to the draft(s) over the next couple of days. The editor on this work is @jayna who runs the 50-word story posts.
11/15/18 - I am inserting the editing advice and the next draft.
11/17/18 - I am inserting the editing advice and the next draft.
1st Draft
I've started most of the 50-word stories by first writing on paper the thoughts that come to mind. I go on until an idea or an image grabs my attention.
Today's process was quicker than most I've done in the past.
Once I have something I think will work, I go into the hemingwayapp and fiddle around until I've got what I'll post. - The picture I post with any piece I've written thus far is usually found after I've got written what I want.
2nd Draft
Snatched at a young age; then, sold into the chains of slavery.
I once drempt of breaking free; that, beaten out of me.
Fear moved in where love once resided. My mother faded into an abyss of broken memories.
I performed laborious tricks for a fee; bringing uninformed people glee.
Edit suggestion by @jayna
Let me be real with you. I was hoping for the message, "Oh, my god, Tristan! This is the most magnificent thing I've ever had the pleasure of reading and there isn't anything I can suggest to make it better." - Ego LOL HAHA!!!
Well ... there would be no use for an editor if I was all that great and I'd be a whale by now for sure.
Here is her suggestions for edit (also found in the comments sections of this post) -
A great thing about having other people read your work is they find things you missed or never thought of like, "how could anyone tell I was speaking of an elephant other than the title?"
I'm also new to story telling so many of the do's and don't's go complete unchecked by me. I mean, I didn't understand the difference between show vs. tell until someone quite recently, not calling out names @f3nix (lol), was like, "please, show - don't tell." And, now I have storyline vs. memory to think about. 8-)
Since my goal with this piece is to depend mostly on the words I write to tell a story, the pictures and videos are merely there to show you (those interested in an in-depth perspective of how I go about writing some days) some of the connections I have going through my brain as I wrote this particular piece.
As you can see below, I did most of the work on the first and second lines. I really like what I have in the third and forth lines of this piece so I didn't fiddle with them much. We'll see what the editor has to say about it, maybe. 8-)
3rd Draft
A baby elephant snatched and sold into the chains of slavery.
He marches back-and-forth. The cracking whip's stinging lashes crushes dreams of breaking free.
Mother fades into an abyss of broken memories. Fear moves in where love once resided.
He performs laborious tricks for a fee; bringing uninformed people glee.
@Jayna's 2nd Edit suggestion
But it is not a full sentence.
Will you clarify why it is not?
I'm a little tired so I'll get on with the edits.
This is a of work to find the 50-words that will get the story across. This has been an interest journey.
4th draft
Roger, a baby elephant, is snatched and shackled down with chains. He marches back-and-forth.
The cracking whip's stinging lashes crush dreams of breaking free. Mother fades into an abyss of broken memories. Fear moves in where love once resided.
He performs laborious tricks, delighting uninformed people daily for a fee.
If you've never watched the Avatar: The Last Air Bender, stop what you are doing and check out that show. Superb, quality content warning!!!
Reality for some -
And one more from my childhood -
THE END
I've enjoyed keeping track of the work I've done on steemit. Makes it easy for me and you to find what you and I might like.
| Previous Entries | Haikus and 50-word short stories | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Deep Water | Bird and Fish | Unforgotten Memories; Time; Music | Zombies and treeforts |
| Murders Abound on Halloween | Book Play |
If you are enjoying my work, please -
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- Coming to you from arcange, a friendly warning to all who want to be successful on the steemit platform:
A bit of paranoia is the basis of security.
There are a few simple rules to follow in order to avoid having your account hacked:
Rule 1: NEVER, I repeat, NEVER use or give your owner key or password!
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Tools:
- The Most Dangerous Writing App - This program keeps me from getting to bogged down with what I think is the perfect way. It forces me to keep writing no matter what comes to mind.
- Grammarly - I use this app all the time to catch my mistakes. If I didn't have a spell checker, you would be lost in my world. haha!
- Hemmingway App: Another useful tool to help you make your writing more clear, comprehensive, and easier to understand.
- Steem World: After the @ symbol, enter your name or anyone elses name to see a host of information regarding what is going on with an account.
- List of 21 sites. Photos that you can use freely in your blog posts.
twenty-four hour short story - You gotta be quick to get this one posted in time. He posts the contest on Sunday (usually) and ends it about 48 hours later. This contest has a 2000 word limit.
Finish the Story Contest - The contest begins on Wednesday (usually) and end 5 days later. This contest will test your write skills with something a little different each week. Pletty of time to write something around the 500 word mark.
Steem Monsters Common Card Fantasy Story Contest! - Coming out roughly every week. If you enjoy card games like Magic, Yugio, and others like it, you might like this game. Write a fictional tale about the card they present in the contest and your entry just might be the one they choose to showcase.
Tell A Story To Me, And Win 5 SBD! Writing Contest - Kind of random when it comes out but don't worry. You will have two weeks to complete your work of art from the given prompt. Have fun!
Haiku - These are coming out every couple days or so. If you stuggle with rhymes, no worries. Haikus don't have to rhyme. All you need to make a haiku is five syllable on the first, seven syllables in the second line, and again back to five syllable for the last line. So easy it makes me think I'm being super product. LOL
Mizu No Oto - Every Image Has Its Haiku Contest - By reading the title, you should be able to guess how this haiku contest works. You're given an image and you write. I've really enjoy this contest because there are people here who've actually gone to classes to learn how to write haiku's; so if you want, you also can learn how to write quality haikus from reading the comments and critiques they and others give.
50-word Challenge - This is an interesting challenge and very challenging to say the least. You only get fifty words to tell a story or a vignettes. Here is a great post that will explain the difference between the two concepts. Good luck, Brave Story Writer!